Thoughts (Continuation)

I lay silently in my grave,
And feel the slow, cool, wave,
It tells me its time to wait,
But I want to know my fate,
Trembling, I get up to bid a final goodbye,
And I see the tree, which no more feels shy,
It’s dancing with the breeze,
And I, here, wait to end my lease,
Everything’s shining in the orange sky,
Everything’s moving and looks alive,
I think, there are a lot miseries and pain,
But is it just to live or an experience to gain?
This question keeps revolving in my head,
And reminds me of my cozy, warm bed.
I realize I’m alive and breathing,
And it was the time worth living,
“I can live a dreading days, I say,
For this moment to come when everything’s gay”,
Is it really the absolute pain?
Or is it all the part of the game?
My mind keeps thinking,
And my eyes start blinking,
I am living this moment
And it is present of the present,
“Thy gift makes me feel alive,
And I know something about life,
Life is indeed a vicious circle,
With ups and downs as a hurdle.
Life is about living and not dying,
And that perfect moment, flying,
High in the air and up in the sky,
Deep inside the ocean and the lands that are dry.
“Oh Lord! Thou maketh the absolute heaven,
With sun shone and the winds driven”,
Suddenly, I hear a faint noise,
I’m not alone, I realize……..

Repugnance

Another day, another night,

And all I do is fight,

With the darkness in me,

And someday hope to be free,

Those words were the last,

Like a bomb just blast,

Trying to heal it ever since,

I forgot I was a prince,

Now that it’s all gone,

Days since the last sun shone,

Praying for it to be all right,

Opening my eyes always gives me a fright,

I wonder if I could take it all from you,

If not all then maybe just a few,

Those are the ones that make me cry,

Left out my pillow in the sun to dry,

“Thou maketh me live so I call upon Thee,

For Thy love is only what I see”

Past goes the night- I’m awake,

Finding myself in me and that’s when I break,

This last prayer must be answered,

Don’t let it go unanswered and abjured…..

Contemptibility

Laughed, cried, ditched and lied,

The  emotions all dried,

Deep down inside I know,

Aiming with a bow,

Can’t see where,

Sometimes here and sometimes there,

Are those my eyes or is it fog?

Standing in the middle of the bog,

Trying to hit – and here goes one!

And still nothing undone..!!

Its all the same the way it was,

Not making a big fuss,

Suddenly everything starts growing,

And I get to my boat and start rowing,

It’s stuck!! I can’t move at all,

Move it, here comes nightfall,

It goes dark and misty,

Even with water all around, I’m still thirsty,

Suddenly saw a faint light,

Coming near and becoming bright,

Comes even more near,

And I’m all white with fear,

With the light growing brighter,

And the boat’s getting lighter,

I don’t know what was happening,

I pinched to see if was dreaming,

And no! I was not,

Picked up the oar and stood like a bot,

And the light just faded away,

Afraid, I sat down to pray,

I thought I had dodged it,

But it was somewhere and I could still feet it,

I shouldn’t be alive,

I’m still dying no matter how much I thrive,

Now with the light gone I felt safe,

I was suddenly frozen by a cold wave,

Honestly, I was allured by the absence of light,

Yes this was the darkness in my life,

It occurred to me that I’m flying,

Was happy that I’m not dying,

Someone called me with a faint voice,

And there was a man who asked my choice,

I chose darkness for that’s what I liked,

And that was when I hitchhiked,

Reached a dark place with nothing all around,

Could see and feel nothing- not even the ground,

And the ground started cracking,

With panic all around and all wrecking,

And that was when I realized,

For I wouldn’t have been more surprised,

That light was Him showing me the way,

But I was too busy in my own sweet play,

Started running and looking for a way to get out,

There was nothing, no grass- not even a sprout,

Everything was dead and silent,

And the cracking became even more violent,

I knew I’d die- for that’s what I chose,

And my eyes couldn’t believe- it was a red rose!

In the garden if darkness found a new life,

That was something I was looking for- strife!

With my mind now all blank,

Couldn’t imagine me becoming a crank!

Plucked the flower – ohh no!

Everything stopped and flower started to glow,

After such a long time, I could see,

“I apologize and I thank Thee”

And He came right in front of me,

With the rose in my hand, I bent on my knee,

“This rose is your life, keep it safe”, He said,

For He saved me or I’d be dead,

Took the rose and kept it safe,

For it was the thing that saved me from the strafe,

He touched me on my head,

“You’re safe now my son, go home”, he said,

I closed my eyes and touched his feet,

Opened my eyes and realized that I’d been asleep!!

Was I dreaming? Or was it reality?

In just one blink I could still feel the brutality,

I searched my pocket and found the rose!

Thought, accept the light or the darkness grows!

So my friend doing anything right is commendable,

But choosing something wrong is reprehensible..!!!!

The most difficult thing for an artist is drawing that first line or writing that first statement. I guess it’s the same with me where I have had ideas but the first statement to be written is the most difficult one. But nevertheless, crossed those interferences in my mind blocking my work.  Is something common to everyone. First love. As always, it has to be in a poetic form.

I was reminded of it then,

Couldn’t recall what really was it then,

We were kids and had no clue,

The skies always seemed blue,

There she came- making an appearance,

And the angels began to dance,

she was looking at my friend, smiling,

and I could feel my blood boiling,

finally she came in,

and I kept on lookin’,

for she would look back at least,

but no- for she was enjoyin the feast,

did I make her conscious,

looked at myself and it was obvious,

I was looking like a bloody beast,

banged the desk with my fist,

didn’t feel the pain then,

for I was busy lookin at the new hen,

well, it was time to go home,

man, the day was all gone,

rushed home and started getting ready for the next day,

for the first time went to Him, to pray,

Dear Lord, I’ll study well and do good,

Make sure she looks at me and make me shrewd,

All set for the plan,

Went to join the clan,

Everything went pretty planned,

but she did not give me a glance,

days went by and exams came,

man, it wasn’t my game,

surprisingly passed,

moved to the next class- fingers crossed,

the same happened the next year,

and yet another class clear,

days passed by without victory,

but everyday was the same story,

one fine day gathered all my strength,

for it was something I had to end,

told her everything I had in stock,

and the reply was,” there’s no reason for us to talk”,

all broken down,

felt like a clown,

had lunch and then planned again,

all filled with remorse and pain,

but did not have the strength to utter a word,

I just wished I could have been a bird,

Fly high and high and high,

Sit on the clouds and cry,

But that was unreal,

So what’d the deal,

This year went in vain,

The next came with some additional pain,

She was leaving school,

This was not at all cool,

Her dad was transferred,

I guess I was destined to be suffered,

But had the courage of walking up to her and say,

Teary eyes and all I could say was,”Hey!!”

And then something came to me,

Why am I doing this, just let it be,

Life doesn’t end here,

There’s nothing to fear,

Her friend’s nice too,

And her eyes are blue,

I can’t do that, she’s the one,

Said to myself,” Dude, She’s gone”,

And I just let it go,

And she still has the glow,

Its just me that has changed,

But man, I’m not deranged,

I am happy with what He gave,

There’s nothing now for which I crave,

Nothing has been hampered,

Tell her to stay being my password.

I know this might not be that great, but its something I wrote, so I like it…..hope u all like it too……

Love, Life And God: Random Thoughts..!!!!

Love, Life And God: Random Thoughts..!!!!: It meant something else earlier, I wasn't sure it would bring about such a change in my life..... There's one thing I'd like to share fo...

Random Thoughts..!!!!

It meant something else earlier, I wasn't sure it would bring about such a change in my life.....

There's one thing I'd like to share for i have been writing something or the other every now and then. But this particular post has been on mind for quite some time now. It is something i wrote sometime back. Here it goes:-

everyday i wake up and pray,
God, please, not this day,
let me live one more phase,
leave me to graze,
in the open fields i see,
what silence and loneliness can be,
for there's no longer any you,
i am going, and I'll be through,
all day long i think not to think,
but with no one there, my eyes don't blink,
wait for the afternoon and I see,
there's too much light for there to be,
i try going somewhere else,
but, the well is where it dwells,
life's a vicious circle, you can't go out,
not in this life, for i tried to give it a thought,
have to wait for the evening,
coz, even in the open air, i was smothering,
at last the evening comes,
and releases me of my afternoon chums,
the direct light makes me feel blind,
i thank Him, for He is indeed kind,
left me all alone in my loneliness and pain,
tears roll down as a drain,
Oh Lord! let me see the beautiful evening,
for Alas! all I've been doing is dreading,
and as He is kind and wishes me to see,
the most beautiful place i could ever be,
i see the evening twilight and the shining tree,
and make a comparison with you,
how life could have been with you,
but my mind realizes, there's no you, but only me!
for there's no place beautiful without you where i can be,
so, at last, i plea, Oh My Dear Lord, help me flee,
from the pain of the day and being the lonely tree!
His kindness is the only thing i crave,
and i count on it as i lay in my own grave,
"Thou love is the ultimate one, I prayeth,
help me come to you as my grave in which i layeth"
clear the road to heaven, for here i come,
i know the things I've done cannot be undone,
so grant me the path which you like,
and I'll be happy to abide,
His grace has made me live, love and, finally,die,
i call upon Him as i cry.

This is something i dreamt about one day and decided to write it in my own words!!!!! 

That's all for now keep reading for new posts....!!!